I (25f) have lost sexual drive or desire for my (30m) husband and it’s destroying me.. /u/Remarkable_Being9440 Sex

For context I’ve had a very rough upbringing – used forms of sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism and have also been assaulted so never had a good or stable relationship with it to begin with. However in the previous years I’ve seen a therapist, turned my life around and me the man of my dreams.

Married him, moved in with him and then went off to uni etc. when I came back from uni and started my job (which is fully remote) everything was perfect and serene until a few weeks into my new lifestyle I noticed my desire for sex with him became less and less and disappeared entirely. It made me super worried as I’ve never felt like this before and it was really bad over September however has spiked up here and there since.

I don’t think being isolated and working from home has helped but I’m just so dumbfounded as to what happened? My brain had racked through every possible answer including maybe that I don’t like him or am bored of him but those thoughts kill me as I literally love him so much and I’m so terrified I’m gonna destroy my relationship because my desire is gone. How do I get it back? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone before? We don’t have any major issues, if anything I’ve never felt so close to anyone and we communicate everything so why does my brain think something is wrong??

I don’t know if I need to get out there more and just keep an identity as I know in uni not seeing him all the time and doing my thing made me super crazy for him but that’s all zapped. I just don’t want to lose the love of my life over something I can’t even control. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

For context I’ve had a very rough upbringing – used forms of sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism and have also been assaulted so never had a good or stable relationship with it to begin with. However in the previous years I’ve seen a therapist, turned my life around and me the man of my dreams.

Married him, moved in with him and then went off to uni etc. when I came back from uni and started my job (which is fully remote) everything was perfect and serene until a few weeks into my new lifestyle I noticed my desire for sex with him became less and less and disappeared entirely. It made me super worried as I’ve never felt like this before and it was really bad over September however has spiked up here and there since.

I don’t think being isolated and working from home has helped but I’m just so dumbfounded as to what happened? My brain had racked through every possible answer including maybe that I don’t like him or am bored of him but those thoughts kill me as I literally love him so much and I’m so terrified I’m gonna destroy my relationship because my desire is gone. How do I get it back? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone before? We don’t have any major issues, if anything I’ve never felt so close to anyone and we communicate everything so why does my brain think something is wrong??

I don’t know if I need to get out there more and just keep an identity as I know in uni not seeing him all the time and doing my thing made me super crazy for him but that’s all zapped. I just don’t want to lose the love of my life over something I can’t even control. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.