I finished virtual sex with my newly-made special other last night and since then she’s been going through immense amounts of guilt, stress, depression, and even disgust. How can I help her? /u/goodforsommething Sex

First and foremost, if this is the wrong place, then I apologize and would appreciate being redirected to where I need to be.

For context, me (18M) and my SO (18F) have known each other for several years (since early middle school with both of us now being high school graduates since 17) with tons of foundation and a long-lasting and trusting friendship where we slowly began to dip our toes into some sexual experiences. Three days ago, we decided it was time to make things official with a trusting and understanding romantic relationship.

I’ve recently been out of town for a brief vacation with my mother’s family, and with all the distance and a large deal of abstinence coming from her after a long amount of time without any sort of intimacy with anybody, she’s had a huge sexual itch that she just can’t seem to scratch. Last night I decided to let her masturbate on call so that she might be more compelled to feel a little more satisfied, but she ended up wanting me to join with her to cut the awkwardness. Long story short, we ended up having a very intimate two hours over call, and almost immediately after finishing, she started to undergo something that could be described as a breakdown like I’ve never seen or heard from her before, shaking and muttering this about how gross she felt and how she every time before, it’s made her feel happy to finish and that something was (evidently) wrong. What followed was a very guilt-filled shower where she described in staggered breaths about how “disgusted” she was with herself and that she was betraying her future SO even though this wasn’t our very first time having a sexual experience like this one way or another.

By three o’clock, I managed to console her and got her to sleep nice and soundly without her ending up hurting herself, and early in the morning before she left to work, she gave me a call and everything seemed fine as I tried to reassure her that she did nothing wrong and that she didn’t have to be disgusted, which seemed to be okay with her at the time. Later in the day however, I receive word that she cannot continue working and ends up announcing herself as physically sick with herself at what we had done the night before.

I’ve been trying to help, and if it will help for you all, I can offer more context and information, but I need to know; is this normal, and how can I fix things to make her feel better? I would definitely concede to the fact that I am generally a novice when it comes to engaging in sexual activity myself whereas my partner is far more well-versed. The most important thing though is making her feel better both sexually and emotionally, and if we can continue to maintain a healthy and mature relationship, then I’d very much appreciate whatever advice I can get.

First and foremost, if this is the wrong place, then I apologize and would appreciate being redirected to where I need to be.

For context, me (18M) and my SO (18F) have known each other for several years (since early middle school with both of us now being high school graduates since 17) with tons of foundation and a long-lasting and trusting friendship where we slowly began to dip our toes into some sexual experiences. Three days ago, we decided it was time to make things official with a trusting and understanding romantic relationship.

I’ve recently been out of town for a brief vacation with my mother’s family, and with all the distance and a large deal of abstinence coming from her after a long amount of time without any sort of intimacy with anybody, she’s had a huge sexual itch that she just can’t seem to scratch. Last night I decided to let her masturbate on call so that she might be more compelled to feel a little more satisfied, but she ended up wanting me to join with her to cut the awkwardness. Long story short, we ended up having a very intimate two hours over call, and almost immediately after finishing, she started to undergo something that could be described as a breakdown like I’ve never seen or heard from her before, shaking and muttering this about how gross she felt and how she every time before, it’s made her feel happy to finish and that something was (evidently) wrong. What followed was a very guilt-filled shower where she described in staggered breaths about how “disgusted” she was with herself and that she was betraying her future SO even though this wasn’t our very first time having a sexual experience like this one way or another.

By three o’clock, I managed to console her and got her to sleep nice and soundly without her ending up hurting herself, and early in the morning before she left to work, she gave me a call and everything seemed fine as I tried to reassure her that she did nothing wrong and that she didn’t have to be disgusted, which seemed to be okay with her at the time. Later in the day however, I receive word that she cannot continue working and ends up announcing herself as physically sick with herself at what we had done the night before.

I’ve been trying to help, and if it will help for you all, I can offer more context and information, but I need to know; is this normal, and how can I fix things to make her feel better? I would definitely concede to the fact that I am generally a novice when it comes to engaging in sexual activity myself whereas my partner is far more well-versed. The most important thing though is making her feel better both sexually and emotionally, and if we can continue to maintain a healthy and mature relationship, then I’d very much appreciate whatever advice I can get.