I (25F) can’t get aroused unless I’m alone /u/HoneydewProper9576 Sex

For the context, I used to believe that I was asexual. My first relationship lasted for three years but neither me nor my then-partner felt any attraction for each other, so it was entirely sexless. However I masturbated frequently since a very young age, always relying on mental images that I never put myself in. Over the years, “imagining porn” got to be my only way to become aroused and have an orgasm.

When I met my current boyfriend things changed a little. For the first time ever I felt intense sexual attraction for someone. We have sex regularly and I do enjoy it. The problem is, I enjoy it mainly for emotional reasons. I simply cannot stay horny during the act. When my boyfriend is away, or even when we cuddle I can get absolutely desperate for him, but as soon as things escalate my body switches off. I’m comfortable, I enjoy the closeness but that’s it. I feel nothing if he touches me, or if I touch myself when we are together. If he goes down on me, it’s just “nice”. Ironically penetration feels best but it still caps at “nice”. We are both very inexperienced but we’ve been trying a lot. Nothing helps, I just don’t get horny unless I isolate my mind and throw all my focus at it.

I feel like I’m addicted to those mental porn images and my brain doesn’t know any better. I had my first sex at 25. Until then, I only relied on imaginary porn. I’m trying to eradicate this habit entirely, but are there any additional tips to overcome this problem? Nothing physical helps. My senses just go numb.

For the context, I used to believe that I was asexual. My first relationship lasted for three years but neither me nor my then-partner felt any attraction for each other, so it was entirely sexless. However I masturbated frequently since a very young age, always relying on mental images that I never put myself in. Over the years, “imagining porn” got to be my only way to become aroused and have an orgasm.

When I met my current boyfriend things changed a little. For the first time ever I felt intense sexual attraction for someone. We have sex regularly and I do enjoy it. The problem is, I enjoy it mainly for emotional reasons. I simply cannot stay horny during the act. When my boyfriend is away, or even when we cuddle I can get absolutely desperate for him, but as soon as things escalate my body switches off. I’m comfortable, I enjoy the closeness but that’s it. I feel nothing if he touches me, or if I touch myself when we are together. If he goes down on me, it’s just “nice”. Ironically penetration feels best but it still caps at “nice”. We are both very inexperienced but we’ve been trying a lot. Nothing helps, I just don’t get horny unless I isolate my mind and throw all my focus at it.

I feel like I’m addicted to those mental porn images and my brain doesn’t know any better. I had my first sex at 25. Until then, I only relied on imaginary porn. I’m trying to eradicate this habit entirely, but are there any additional tips to overcome this problem? Nothing physical helps. My senses just go numb.