Am I weird? ( TW*sexual assault – but question is requiring a view point of those who have been survivors of) /u/Plaything-666 Sex

So this morning before counselling I was speaking with my partner about the sexual assaults/rape that has happened to me.. unfortunately different people more than once.

One of the occasions I spoke of was being asleep/passed out in the room of a party and it made me think am I and absolute weirdo for the things I like.

So now as a consenting adult I get off on the idea of my partner touching me whilst I’m asleep ( the continuation of this dependant on my regaining consciousness) to basically wake up because he’s horny.

I also enjoy rough sex, I like being told what to do, I like being choked and pinned down etc.

All of which behaviours that considering the things that have happened to me seem so odd.. why would I get off on things that relate to horrible things that have happened to me?

Is it a control thing because I’ve given the consent? Is this normal? I don’t know how to feel about it.

In regards to all the things that have happened to me I am numb. It happened, there’s nothing I can do about it but I’ve certainly never let it ruin me, I’d never let them take anymore from me than they already did.

submitted by /u/Plaything-666
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​r/sex So this morning before counselling I was speaking with my partner about the sexual assaults/rape that has happened to me.. unfortunately different people more than once. One of the occasions I spoke of was being asleep/passed out in the room of a party and it made me think am I and absolute weirdo for the things I like. So now as a consenting adult I get off on the idea of my partner touching me whilst I’m asleep ( the continuation of this dependant on my regaining consciousness) to basically wake up because he’s horny. I also enjoy rough sex, I like being told what to do, I like being choked and pinned down etc. All of which behaviours that considering the things that have happened to me seem so odd.. why would I get off on things that relate to horrible things that have happened to me? Is it a control thing because I’ve given the consent? Is this normal? I don’t know how to feel about it. In regards to all the things that have happened to me I am numb. It happened, there’s nothing I can do about it but I’ve certainly never let it ruin me, I’d never let them take anymore from me than they already did. submitted by /u/Plaything-666 [link] [comments] 

So this morning before counselling I was speaking with my partner about the sexual assaults/rape that has happened to me.. unfortunately different people more than once.

One of the occasions I spoke of was being asleep/passed out in the room of a party and it made me think am I and absolute weirdo for the things I like.

So now as a consenting adult I get off on the idea of my partner touching me whilst I’m asleep ( the continuation of this dependant on my regaining consciousness) to basically wake up because he’s horny.

I also enjoy rough sex, I like being told what to do, I like being choked and pinned down etc.

All of which behaviours that considering the things that have happened to me seem so odd.. why would I get off on things that relate to horrible things that have happened to me?

Is it a control thing because I’ve given the consent? Is this normal? I don’t know how to feel about it.

In regards to all the things that have happened to me I am numb. It happened, there’s nothing I can do about it but I’ve certainly never let it ruin me, I’d never let them take anymore from me than they already did.

submitted by /u/Plaything-666
[link] [comments] 

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