Nervous and unsure what to do /u/throwaway4217782 Sex

!!!Throwaway account!!!

Trigger warning: Sexual Assault/Harassment (I’m not sure which one it falls under

After years of being extremely self conscious and rejecting people because of it as well as previous trauma I (20f) have my first SO.

I really really like this guy, he’s funny, kind, understanding, and passionate. Before he went back to his hometown for break we escalated things a little bit. I gave him head. Since then he’s offered multiple times to eat me out and everytime I get nauseous from anxiety and tell him no. But I want to, before I go over to his place I’ll get myself ready for it but when he asks I always get that feeling and I always shut him down and I’m not sure why. I don’t want him to think it’s his fault because it isn’t.

I’ve thought maybe it could be from my trauma but the person who hurt me never touched my vagina or breasts they only ever touched my shoulders and wrists while talking seductively (I was 13/14), so it’s hard for me to see why it would affect this especially since I thought I was over it.

So here are my questions, what should I do to feel more comfortable and not get that anxious feeling? I feel like I really need to talk to him about this, what should I say to him? And should I bring this up to my psychiatrist on my next appointment (which is probably a dumb question, because yes I should)?

!!!Throwaway account!!!

Trigger warning: Sexual Assault/Harassment (I’m not sure which one it falls under

After years of being extremely self conscious and rejecting people because of it as well as previous trauma I (20f) have my first SO.

I really really like this guy, he’s funny, kind, understanding, and passionate. Before he went back to his hometown for break we escalated things a little bit. I gave him head. Since then he’s offered multiple times to eat me out and everytime I get nauseous from anxiety and tell him no. But I want to, before I go over to his place I’ll get myself ready for it but when he asks I always get that feeling and I always shut him down and I’m not sure why. I don’t want him to think it’s his fault because it isn’t.

I’ve thought maybe it could be from my trauma but the person who hurt me never touched my vagina or breasts they only ever touched my shoulders and wrists while talking seductively (I was 13/14), so it’s hard for me to see why it would affect this especially since I thought I was over it.

So here are my questions, what should I do to feel more comfortable and not get that anxious feeling? I feel like I really need to talk to him about this, what should I say to him? And should I bring this up to my psychiatrist on my next appointment (which is probably a dumb question, because yes I should)?