26F Struggling To ‘Get Past’ Size Issues With BF 27M /u/perplexedlexie Sex

I’ve been dating my current bf for about 5/6 months and he is genuinely my perfect partner in so many ways. We just clicked since literally our first date and he’s very open and reassuring about wanting a serious future together. My family and friends are busy congratulating me on having clearly found ‘the one’ and someone who’s gorgeous, successful and genuinely nice.

While I do feel the same way, I’m also privately struggling with one issue that’s honestly making me feel both guilty and confused.

Being somewhat blunt, having taken thing initially slow physically (which I really respected), when we actually finally slept together I found myself somewhat surprised by just how ‘small’ my bf actually is.

In the past I’d genuinely never considered ‘size’ to be an issue I was overly concerned or shallow about and always just assumed with previous partners it was pretty much irrelevant, especially if I actually loved someone. I didn’t feel that I ever had any expectations or requirements about it.

For context I’d describe the majority of my past experiences as being mostly ‘average’ with one somewhat unfortunately timed exception. My exbf immediately prior to starting my current relationship was my ‘largest’ partner by a very significant margin. While he had many flaws of his own in that one respect he was impressively near the top of scale. Meanwhile my current bf is at completely the other extreme.

I know it’s absolutely stupid, unfair and unhealthy to ever compare romantic partners in any way. But I also can’t deny that the unavoidably obvious ‘contrast’ between my current bf and my most recent ex has honestly made me feel even more inadvertently and frustratingly ‘aware’ of the current situation.

I genuinely feel horrible and selfish because while I know I should be grateful for how amazing my bf is and the exciting future ahead of us, I just feel like this ‘issue’ is genuinely holding me back mentally and emotionally.

I also feel utterly unable to discuss the situation with anyone irl for mostly obvious reasons.

I don’t want to potentially embarrass my bf by discussing it with friends or family as I would usually do with a less ‘intimate’ relationship concern. Likewise I recognise that directly raising such a ‘sensitive’ topic with my bf in any way could have a truly horrible effect on his confidence and do catastrophic/irreparable damage to our relationship.

I’m also realistic that there’s literally nothing my bf can actually ‘do’ about his size and that i’m really the one with the ‘problem’ in this situation not him. I really don’t want to lose an amazing relationship over one silly/selfish reason but I’m finding myself honestly struggling.

I’m aware of the kinds of responses I’m probably likely to get here, but I’d honestly appreciate any constructive advice from women/men who have navigated similar situations with partners.

Please keep things civil and respectful. I’ll answer any reasonable questions or am happy to discuss privately it people feel more comfortable with that.

TLDR: Struggling to ‘Get Past’ issues with current BF’s size despite him being my otherwise perfect partner.

I’ve been dating my current bf for about 5/6 months and he is genuinely my perfect partner in so many ways. We just clicked since literally our first date and he’s very open and reassuring about wanting a serious future together. My family and friends are busy congratulating me on having clearly found ‘the one’ and someone who’s gorgeous, successful and genuinely nice.

While I do feel the same way, I’m also privately struggling with one issue that’s honestly making me feel both guilty and confused.

Being somewhat blunt, having taken thing initially slow physically (which I really respected), when we actually finally slept together I found myself somewhat surprised by just how ‘small’ my bf actually is.

In the past I’d genuinely never considered ‘size’ to be an issue I was overly concerned or shallow about and always just assumed with previous partners it was pretty much irrelevant, especially if I actually loved someone. I didn’t feel that I ever had any expectations or requirements about it.

For context I’d describe the majority of my past experiences as being mostly ‘average’ with one somewhat unfortunately timed exception. My exbf immediately prior to starting my current relationship was my ‘largest’ partner by a very significant margin. While he had many flaws of his own in that one respect he was impressively near the top of scale. Meanwhile my current bf is at completely the other extreme.

I know it’s absolutely stupid, unfair and unhealthy to ever compare romantic partners in any way. But I also can’t deny that the unavoidably obvious ‘contrast’ between my current bf and my most recent ex has honestly made me feel even more inadvertently and frustratingly ‘aware’ of the current situation.

I genuinely feel horrible and selfish because while I know I should be grateful for how amazing my bf is and the exciting future ahead of us, I just feel like this ‘issue’ is genuinely holding me back mentally and emotionally.

I also feel utterly unable to discuss the situation with anyone irl for mostly obvious reasons.

I don’t want to potentially embarrass my bf by discussing it with friends or family as I would usually do with a less ‘intimate’ relationship concern. Likewise I recognise that directly raising such a ‘sensitive’ topic with my bf in any way could have a truly horrible effect on his confidence and do catastrophic/irreparable damage to our relationship.

I’m also realistic that there’s literally nothing my bf can actually ‘do’ about his size and that i’m really the one with the ‘problem’ in this situation not him. I really don’t want to lose an amazing relationship over one silly/selfish reason but I’m finding myself honestly struggling.

I’m aware of the kinds of responses I’m probably likely to get here, but I’d honestly appreciate any constructive advice from women/men who have navigated similar situations with partners.

Please keep things civil and respectful. I’ll answer any reasonable questions or am happy to discuss privately it people feel more comfortable with that.

TLDR: Struggling to ‘Get Past’ issues with current BF’s size despite him being my otherwise perfect partner.