My boyfriend (21m) and I (23f) have great sex. It’s frequent, it’s fun and I love it. However, in the 4-5 months we’ve been together he’s never been able to make me cum from any kind of vaginal/clitoral stimulation. He tries really hard to beat the “straight guys can’t make women cum” stereotype and he is great at sex! He makes sure to always include foreplay with fingering/oral during which I get really close and it feels amazing, but I just don’t get there. It’s like something’s missing. The only way I’ve orgasmed with him was during anal sex with additional clitoral stimulation. Now, I have a theory why I can’t orgasm, but I don’t know what to do about it. Basically, I’ve always been very kinky. Specifically, I’m submissive and have a pain kink. For years, I’ve masturbated exclusively to kinky fantasies/porn. I think I’ve conditioned myself into this being the only way I can get off. I have the theory that in order to orgasm, I need to be put in the right headspace (aka be degraded). However, my boyfriend is very vanilla. He’s also incredibly sweet and kind and I’m not even sure I want him to say the things I’d need to hear. I believe the reason I can orgasm during anal is because I find it degrading. I also tell myself degrading things in my mind which helps. I try to communicate very openly, so my boyfriend knows about my kinks (but not how deep they go). He does things like bite/choke me, which I enjoy, but I’m not sure I want it to go further than this. It’s just not who he is. But this is not how I want to live! I want to be able to orgasm from the beautiful vanilla sex we’re having. I don’t want to make my sweet boyfriend say degrading things he doesn’t mean and I don’t want to have to add things in my head (to be clear, I don’t imagine anyone else or anything, I just mentally degrade myself if that makes sense). I’m also so jealous of how easily he orgasms, it feels so unfair, like my body is working against me. I also believe my boyfriend is self-conscious about it. I keep telling him he’s doing great, but I know how much he would love to be able to get me off. It might also be important to add that I have never orgasmed during sex with anyone else, either.
Does anyone have any idea what I/we can do to make me orgasm?
submitted by /u/highmatlos
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r/sex My boyfriend (21m) and I (23f) have great sex. It’s frequent, it’s fun and I love it. However, in the 4-5 months we’ve been together he’s never been able to make me cum from any kind of vaginal/clitoral stimulation. He tries really hard to beat the “straight guys can’t make women cum” stereotype and he is great at sex! He makes sure to always include foreplay with fingering/oral during which I get really close and it feels amazing, but I just don’t get there. It’s like something’s missing. The only way I’ve orgasmed with him was during anal sex with additional clitoral stimulation. Now, I have a theory why I can’t orgasm, but I don’t know what to do about it. Basically, I’ve always been very kinky. Specifically, I’m submissive and have a pain kink. For years, I’ve masturbated exclusively to kinky fantasies/porn. I think I’ve conditioned myself into this being the only way I can get off. I have the theory that in order to orgasm, I need to be put in the right headspace (aka be degraded). However, my boyfriend is very vanilla. He’s also incredibly sweet and kind and I’m not even sure I want him to say the things I’d need to hear. I believe the reason I can orgasm during anal is because I find it degrading. I also tell myself degrading things in my mind which helps. I try to communicate very openly, so my boyfriend knows about my kinks (but not how deep they go). He does things like bite/choke me, which I enjoy, but I’m not sure I want it to go further than this. It’s just not who he is. But this is not how I want to live! I want to be able to orgasm from the beautiful vanilla sex we’re having. I don’t want to make my sweet boyfriend say degrading things he doesn’t mean and I don’t want to have to add things in my head (to be clear, I don’t imagine anyone else or anything, I just mentally degrade myself if that makes sense). I’m also so jealous of how easily he orgasms, it feels so unfair, like my body is working against me. I also believe my boyfriend is self-conscious about it. I keep telling him he’s doing great, but I know how much he would love to be able to get me off. It might also be important to add that I have never orgasmed during sex with anyone else, either. Does anyone have any idea what I/we can do to make me orgasm? submitted by /u/highmatlos [link] [comments]
My boyfriend (21m) and I (23f) have great sex. It’s frequent, it’s fun and I love it. However, in the 4-5 months we’ve been together he’s never been able to make me cum from any kind of vaginal/clitoral stimulation. He tries really hard to beat the “straight guys can’t make women cum” stereotype and he is great at sex! He makes sure to always include foreplay with fingering/oral during which I get really close and it feels amazing, but I just don’t get there. It’s like something’s missing. The only way I’ve orgasmed with him was during anal sex with additional clitoral stimulation. Now, I have a theory why I can’t orgasm, but I don’t know what to do about it. Basically, I’ve always been very kinky. Specifically, I’m submissive and have a pain kink. For years, I’ve masturbated exclusively to kinky fantasies/porn. I think I’ve conditioned myself into this being the only way I can get off. I have the theory that in order to orgasm, I need to be put in the right headspace (aka be degraded). However, my boyfriend is very vanilla. He’s also incredibly sweet and kind and I’m not even sure I want him to say the things I’d need to hear. I believe the reason I can orgasm during anal is because I find it degrading. I also tell myself degrading things in my mind which helps. I try to communicate very openly, so my boyfriend knows about my kinks (but not how deep they go). He does things like bite/choke me, which I enjoy, but I’m not sure I want it to go further than this. It’s just not who he is. But this is not how I want to live! I want to be able to orgasm from the beautiful vanilla sex we’re having. I don’t want to make my sweet boyfriend say degrading things he doesn’t mean and I don’t want to have to add things in my head (to be clear, I don’t imagine anyone else or anything, I just mentally degrade myself if that makes sense). I’m also so jealous of how easily he orgasms, it feels so unfair, like my body is working against me. I also believe my boyfriend is self-conscious about it. I keep telling him he’s doing great, but I know how much he would love to be able to get me off. It might also be important to add that I have never orgasmed during sex with anyone else, either.
Does anyone have any idea what I/we can do to make me orgasm?
submitted by /u/highmatlos
[link] [comments]