(22m) sexually traumatized as a kid, cant lose my v*rg*nty /u/mr_kronxter Sex

For quick info, I was sexually assaulted as a child for a long time period. It was not rape, or something like that. My grandmother was schizophrenic and she had this delusion of “that my father was raping me”

She would harass me verbally, tell me to not let him do bad things to me, and stuff like that

Some nights she would physically examine my anus to see any signs of rape. (There wasn’t any, she was just looking for something to feed her crazy delusions)

This lasted between my ages of 6 to 15

………And fast forward to today.

I’ve been clubbing for like 6 months, i dance so well, i entertain people so much, im just the type of guy that gets lots of compliments from both genders.

They all say im the star of the dance floor.

I attract some girls, i can see and feel that they are interested in me, eventually we dance and they expect me to make a move on them, (like a normal man would do) , to hold them close, lean in for a kiss or grind on them.

^ every single time that i reach this step, my mind just paralyzes, i don’t know what to do, my hormones don’t work and guide me on what to do (I’m a straight male) I feel like if i lean in for a kiss, or at least hold them in the back and pull them closer, that it’s wrong.

” I’m doing something wrong if i try to kiss them, It’s wrong that i hold them and pull them closer. It’s sexual assault, im a pervert, im a rapist,im a creep.

Those are the feelings i get whenever i want to step further.

I don’t know how to get over it, it’s a burden, i want to get over this.

submitted by /u/mr_kronxter
[link] [comments]

​r/sex For quick info, I was sexually assaulted as a child for a long time period. It was not rape, or something like that. My grandmother was schizophrenic and she had this delusion of “that my father was raping me” She would harass me verbally, tell me to not let him do bad things to me, and stuff like that Some nights she would physically examine my anus to see any signs of rape. (There wasn’t any, she was just looking for something to feed her crazy delusions) This lasted between my ages of 6 to 15 ………And fast forward to today. I’ve been clubbing for like 6 months, i dance so well, i entertain people so much, im just the type of guy that gets lots of compliments from both genders. They all say im the star of the dance floor. I attract some girls, i can see and feel that they are interested in me, eventually we dance and they expect me to make a move on them, (like a normal man would do) , to hold them close, lean in for a kiss or grind on them. ^ every single time that i reach this step, my mind just paralyzes, i don’t know what to do, my hormones don’t work and guide me on what to do (I’m a straight male) I feel like if i lean in for a kiss, or at least hold them in the back and pull them closer, that it’s wrong. ” I’m doing something wrong if i try to kiss them, It’s wrong that i hold them and pull them closer. It’s sexual assault, im a pervert, im a rapist,im a creep. ” Those are the feelings i get whenever i want to step further. I don’t know how to get over it, it’s a burden, i want to get over this. submitted by /u/mr_kronxter [link] [comments] 

For quick info, I was sexually assaulted as a child for a long time period. It was not rape, or something like that. My grandmother was schizophrenic and she had this delusion of “that my father was raping me”

She would harass me verbally, tell me to not let him do bad things to me, and stuff like that

Some nights she would physically examine my anus to see any signs of rape. (There wasn’t any, she was just looking for something to feed her crazy delusions)

This lasted between my ages of 6 to 15

………And fast forward to today.

I’ve been clubbing for like 6 months, i dance so well, i entertain people so much, im just the type of guy that gets lots of compliments from both genders.

They all say im the star of the dance floor.

I attract some girls, i can see and feel that they are interested in me, eventually we dance and they expect me to make a move on them, (like a normal man would do) , to hold them close, lean in for a kiss or grind on them.

^ every single time that i reach this step, my mind just paralyzes, i don’t know what to do, my hormones don’t work and guide me on what to do (I’m a straight male) I feel like if i lean in for a kiss, or at least hold them in the back and pull them closer, that it’s wrong.

” I’m doing something wrong if i try to kiss them, It’s wrong that i hold them and pull them closer. It’s sexual assault, im a pervert, im a rapist,im a creep.

Those are the feelings i get whenever i want to step further.

I don’t know how to get over it, it’s a burden, i want to get over this.

submitted by /u/mr_kronxter
[link] [comments] 

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