how do you guys not care about things others care a lot? is it only upbringing and external circumstances, or did you move your mindset around sex somehow?
for example, rationally I tell myself the number of ex partners doesnt matter, on the other hand I become triggered sometimes by a thought that my (30M) GF (29F) had drunken intercourses and doesnt even remember some of them (please dont comment on this negatively like its a red flag or something, I want to spend my life with her and try to work on myself and my triggers, insecurities).
I myself had more partners (according to what she tells, if its true, twice as much), so you can see why it doesnt make sense for me to even think about it. I believed if I sleep with enough girls I wouldnt care about the experiences of my partner – and I dont, but my mind does.
I was thinking maybe I am not ok with some of my casual intercourses unconsciously, but not sure, I think I was influenced as a child by conservative environment or its related to my childhood issues (alcoholic parents etc.)
can you recommend any practical steps I can do to be more accepting? thank you.
tldr: I struggle with my (unconscious) mindset about sex and want to change it to be more relaxed with my gfs past.
submitted by /u/FokumeSoSe69
[link] [comments]
r/sex how do you guys not care about things others care a lot? is it only upbringing and external circumstances, or did you move your mindset around sex somehow? for example, rationally I tell myself the number of ex partners doesnt matter, on the other hand I become triggered sometimes by a thought that my (30M) GF (29F) had drunken intercourses and doesnt even remember some of them (please dont comment on this negatively like its a red flag or something, I want to spend my life with her and try to work on myself and my triggers, insecurities). I myself had more partners (according to what she tells, if its true, twice as much), so you can see why it doesnt make sense for me to even think about it. I believed if I sleep with enough girls I wouldnt care about the experiences of my partner – and I dont, but my mind does. I was thinking maybe I am not ok with some of my casual intercourses unconsciously, but not sure, I think I was influenced as a child by conservative environment or its related to my childhood issues (alcoholic parents etc.) can you recommend any practical steps I can do to be more accepting? thank you. tldr: I struggle with my (unconscious) mindset about sex and want to change it to be more relaxed with my gfs past. submitted by /u/FokumeSoSe69 [link] [comments]
how do you guys not care about things others care a lot? is it only upbringing and external circumstances, or did you move your mindset around sex somehow?
for example, rationally I tell myself the number of ex partners doesnt matter, on the other hand I become triggered sometimes by a thought that my (30M) GF (29F) had drunken intercourses and doesnt even remember some of them (please dont comment on this negatively like its a red flag or something, I want to spend my life with her and try to work on myself and my triggers, insecurities).
I myself had more partners (according to what she tells, if its true, twice as much), so you can see why it doesnt make sense for me to even think about it. I believed if I sleep with enough girls I wouldnt care about the experiences of my partner – and I dont, but my mind does.
I was thinking maybe I am not ok with some of my casual intercourses unconsciously, but not sure, I think I was influenced as a child by conservative environment or its related to my childhood issues (alcoholic parents etc.)
can you recommend any practical steps I can do to be more accepting? thank you.
tldr: I struggle with my (unconscious) mindset about sex and want to change it to be more relaxed with my gfs past.
submitted by /u/FokumeSoSe69
[link] [comments]